www.leefur.com

Given our contiuned downward spiral ($9 trillion, huh?), The Onion hits the mark. Link

A couple excerpts:

I already belong to a health club, a church, and the Kiwanis Club," Tammy Golden of Los Angeles wrote. "I'm a member of the Von's Grocery Super Savers, which gets me a discount on certain groceries. These are all well-managed organizations with real benefits. None of them send me a confusing bill once a year and make me work it out myself, then throw me in jail if I get it wrong."

"I was gonna vote, but it rained," Berg wrote. "It wasn't for the president anyway, so what difference does it make? The president is the only one that matters, and you don't even get to vote for him."

 

Busting out of nearly a month of silence with hilarity. Tragic hilarity, but still hilarity.  (Thanks Cat)

Link
 

Do you know me? If so ... play along: link

This is old news now, but I just heard about it ...

Wal-Mart stirred outrage yesterday when its Web site suggested that shoppers who wanted to buy a "Planet of the Apes" DVD would be interested in biopics of famous black Americans like Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Hah!

Link

The best pilot you've never seen, this is a show from 1999 produced by Ben Stiller (who also briefly stars as a strip club DJ). Jack Black stars as Jack Austin, an astronaut on the run from NASA after a solar accident makes him the smartest man in the universe (but only when the sun is up). Owen Wilson plays the voice of his motorcycle, which fused with Jack's unemployed roommate in a misdirected ray-gun blast. Also starring is Ben Stiller's hot-as-hell, money-can-buy-anything wife, Christine Taylor, and Ron Silver as ... himself (the bad guy). So if you've got a half hour to kill, this is better than Grey's Anatomy or whatever you were just about to sit through...

Link (to large movie file)

 

"I appreciate that many readers will be profoundly distrustful of the tack I am taking here," he writes. "They will see me as just another liberal professor trying to cajole them out of some of their convictions, and they are dead right about that -- that's what I am, and that's exactly what I am trying to do."

This from nearly two years ago, The Onion predicts Gillette's five-blade revolution. Funnier now than ever.

Link: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Another childhood dream smashed... turns out Marty and Doc were in love. See? Link

I was in the crapper reading The Onion and was unusually intrigued and entertained by nearly every headline. So I thought I'd share them.

President Creates Cabinet-Level Position to Coordinate Scandals
(eh, decent)

TV Blamed For Rise In Formulaic Violence
(link)

Eighty Percent Of Al-Qaeda No. 2s Now Dead
(link)

MPAA Unveils Rating System Based On Old Testament
(link)

I Love The Idea Of My Wife
(best of the lot)

See? Link

The future looks bleak, indeed, as the nation's first digitally patrolled highway rolls out ... link

(Thanks Jesse) 

(^ an homage)

So last night I left work, and inside of a quarter mile I was pulled over for not coming to a complete stop before a right turn on red. (Go ahead, roll your eyes along with me) Fortunately, it wasn't a K9 unit. So anyway, 4 years of owning a Jeep and <shudder> a VW Golf have left me with a clean driving record - I actually get the Good Driver discount on my insurance! - and I got off with only a warning. Point being, it was actually a written warning (think demerits in high school), with this at the bottom:

Boy, howdy! 

Funny as hell, a bunch of bored kids recreate Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! Link

My alma mater, New Jersey, seems to be going through a bit of a re-branding effort. So in an effort to encourage visitors to judge us not just by the 7 mile stretch of the NJ Turnpike by New York that is flanked by the smelliest chemical sludge factories on the planet, I present to you the new slogan:

New Jersey, Come See For Yourself

... just please ignore the parts that suck ... in fact, just head south, or maybe west to the mountains.

Perhaps "Only the Strong Survive" would have been better.

By the way, the top 5 contenders:

:: New Jersey: Expect the Unexpected.
:: New Jersey: Love at First Sight.
:: New Jersey: The Real Deal.
:: New Jersey: The Best Kept Secret.
:: New Jersey: Come See for Yourself.

(Thanks Goldsmith)

Link and official announcement

"I won't change anything that will affect anyone."

Now THAT is a platform we can all get behind! My girl typed "www.takeyourmoney.com" blindly into her browser, and was summarily redirected to this little slice of genius. That's right - right now you're seeing the very genesis of a fad! Move over Toby and Ding!

Long live Ron Moss!

Here's an update to an earlier post.

This English kid needed money to pay his tuition and asked himself "How can I get a million dollars?", and shortly thereafter devised a devlish little idea - set up a 1,000 x 1,000 pixel page and sell pixels for just a buck a piece to whoever wanted to advertise whatever (as long as it was pretty 'decent'). Well, he's about to sell out the last 1,000 pixels. It looks like ass, but that's the beauty of it.

Check it: link

Check out this clip supposedly showing some early test footage of effects for the in-production live-action Transformers flick, due out in 2k7 or so. Link

Kevin Smith, director of Clerks (and Mallrats, Dogma, Chasing Amy, etc) has decided to go back to what he does best - super low budget flicks with snappy dialogue. Check out a trailer for his upcoming sequel to the very, very excellent Clerks: link

"Cy, short for Cyclopes, a kitten born with only one eye and no nose, is shown in this photo provided by its owner in Redmond, Oregon, on Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005. The kitten, a ragdoll breed, which died after living for one day, was one of two in the litter. Its sibling was born normal and healthy." Link