www.leefur.com

So it occurs to me that I haven't updated the world as to the little "lost wallet" saga I'm going through right now. So here goes.

When last we spoke, it was nearing 2am (eeearly Saturday) in the airport. I was bleary-eyed and half-drunk, and quietly laughing at my situation. I had cancelled my credit cards, but that was about it. Tough to do anything when its two in the morning, let alone five in the morning back east.

So let's see. Saturday at 4.30am my cell phone blared right on time, reminding me it was time to shuffle over to Terminal 2 and see if I could wiggle my way into a ticket, through security, and on the plane. Without ID, mind you; and without credit cards, and with $24 left in my pocket after the beer treat. I got me a special ticket, coded "SSSS". Apparently "S" stands for "Security", and I had to go through a special 'groping-guaranteed' security line. So after the shortest and most invasive date of my life, I was through.

I was at gate 12, which was of course the very farthest gate. I think it was 2 or 3 miles away. I dunno. It's all a bit hazy. I got to the gate, and continued to keep myself awake so as to not miss my flight. Got on my plane, and must have been asleep and drooling on myself inside of 10 seconds. I definitely don't remember taking off. I also definitely don't remember landing. I do remember getting out in sunny San Diego, where it was ... cloudy.

Then it started raining. Okay, God ... cute.

As I walked to my car, I realized one hiccup in my plan - I had a $100+ parking bill coming, and $25 in my pocket. I tell the little lady who lives in the tiny building with the tollgate my story, and she says "hold on" and locks the gate down, turns her light from green to red, and disappears. She comes back and says that the cops have to come and verify my identity. All good fun. Eventually the cops showed up, seemed all pissed off for no good reason, then verified my ID (I had my birth certificate on me ... don't ask), and I was on my way.

Ah the glory - I can finally go to sleep, at least until my 2.30p appointment to go sign my lease. Right? Oh. Not right.

First I call the only credit card I didn't cancel, my corporate AmEx card. After much much back and forth on the phone, they tell me they can rush me a card to arrive at exactly 2pm. Nice. Unfortunately, it took so long on the phone with AmEx that there's no time left now for me to sleep. So I wait. And I wait. Card finally arrives at 4pm. Luckily my new landlord has been polite enough to wait for me.

Go to use the credit card and it doesn't work. Call AmEx, give them my account number. Long pause ... then they say "Sir, the account number is 15 digits". And I say "I just read you all the digits on the card." And so they say "Oh. Hmm." Eventually we discover that they rushed me a completely useless, slightly retarded, numerically-deficient credit card. So much for all that. Now I have another one coming sometime next Tuesday. (That said, AmEx saved my ASS with the landlord, wired money to him to pay for first month's rent and security deposit)

Eh this is getting ridiculosuly long, so I'll do this last part quick. Go to the DMV today. Stand in line for over 2 hours (California is so progressive, so what's up with the guaranteed-long-wait-and-no-chairs-to-be-found shit?), take a written driver's test (blog on that upcoming), nail it with only one wrong, and then summarily find out that I can only get a temporary paper license that can't be used for ID, until I get a certified letter from the Virginia DMV proving I had a license there.

I'm learning so much to put in the Don't Lose Your Wallet pile.

The good news is none of this is bothering me - it's too amusing and unimportant for that - and I'm in my new place! Woooooo hoooo! So tomorrow I think I'm going to get lunch at one of the waterfront cafes and do work from there. Oh, I didn't blab about why I'm not in Oakland any more. Short version - no ID, no plane. They gave up on me. Sweetness.

Bedtime. And much love for all the sarcastic comments out there ... keep em coming (yes, Elissa, I'm fishing for them).