www.leefur.com

(I should note now that I'm assuming you've forgotten I have a blog, Mom and Dad. If not, now would be a good time.) 

Catherine: hmmm do i want leftover yams? they're probably super fattening
me: then ... no?
me: uh, yes?
me: what does the boy say to that question ... hmm ...
me: let's see how i can do ...
me: Well sweetie, you certainly look fantastic and have nothing to worry about with them being "super fattening". But if it's going to make you feel bad, then you shouldn't eat them. Either way, I'd love to perform some oral sex on you tonight.
me: How was that?
Catherine: um, perfect?
Catherine: ha
Catherine: but seriously, very well written. maybe you should do a "how to talk to your woman" blog
me: i love the challenge of it.
me: cuz yall read so deep into every word, it's way easy to misstep
Catherine: and you have to do a "how to talk to your man" section as well of course
me: that's easy "tell him he's strong, hot, and has a huge, satisfying penis, and all you wanna do is see how far down your throat you can get it."
me: girl 1: "Well what if my boyfriend tells me he's really sad because his best friend is moving to Detroit?"
me: answer: See above.
me: girl 2: "My boyfriend's grandma just died. What can I say to him?"
me: answer: See above.
me: girl 3: "My boyfriend got his dick caught in a lawnmower. What can I say to him?"
me: answer: Oh. Uhh. Hmm. Nothing. Just shut up and make him a steak. It's all he's got left.
Catherine: or she could buy him an Xbox 360 so he has some sort of stick to play with.
me: oh, yeah, good one!
me: very good addition
me: but while he's playing xbox ...

Trailer Bitch link
This blubbering hero and likely father of a litter of overacheivers loses his composure when confronted with his hero - a WWF wrestler. (Also read about his meeting with our fair President: link)

Return of the King? link
A trailer for Season 3 of the Chappelle Show (which may be just cobbled together from half-done skits, excerpts, and bytes from Seasons 1 & 2)

Smokin a Fat Chronic(le) Spliff link
This is the best of these three. Saturday Night Live's Chris Parnell thugs it out with one of the guys from Awesometown (a more stoner-friendly version of SNL).

I know what you're thinking: "When is Lee gonna give us his thoughts on King Kong already, sheesh!?" Rest easy now.

I saw King Kong last night. I saw the original 1933 King Kong the night before, and it added a lot to the experience last night. There are some wonderful little ties and callouts to the original.

The best thing about 1933's Kong was the pacing of the story; there was just never a dull moment as one thing led to another. There was always a new danger. 2005's Kong achieves this as well, but only for about the middle hour. There is an hour in there that is as much fun as you'll ever have at the movies. And it is this hour that makes me suggest you go see this flick.

As you may have heard, the first 45 minutes or so is quite slow. You can feel Peter Jackson stretching this into more of an epic, really trying to build up the characters in the story. Perhaps this misses the point that King Kong is really an action-adventure story. Or perhaps it is because of this effort that this incarnation of the movie holds up, that it doesn't feel like just an unnecessary special effects festival (which, in the end, it is).

Jackson wanted people at the theaters to feel what people seeing King Kong in 1933 felt - shock and awe. The problem is that in the 70 years since, we've become blinded by effects that make anything possible. Life-like dinosaurs? Check. Talking half-alien hobbits? Check. Despite this blindness, there are times when this King Kong made a theater of 300 people hold its collective breath with eyes wide in hopeful anticipation, and there were times when you could feel (and hear) a united reaction of "My God! What next?!" Jackson has achieved his goal here.

There is quite a bit of (expected) effort to humanize Kong, and quite effectively at that. This empathy is inherent in the Beauty and the Beast story, but truly brought to life by Kong's emotional presence and Naomi Watts' truly luminescent performance. It's great to see her headline a blockbuster; she deserves to be A-list, and she has arrived. Adrien Brody is serviceable, but Jack Black is a mis-cast. He's a brave choice from Jackson, but let's let this be Black's last non-comedic attempt.

In short, go see 1933's King Kong masterpiece. Then go see 2005's King Kong recreation. Hit the bathroom before showtime, though.

I may have posted this at some point, but let's pretend not. We all know those people that talk about music in such a way that you are forced to assume they know more than you'll ever know, and you are forever their bitch. But have you considered the alternative? They may be faking it! Perhaps you can out-fake them!

Learn how: link. 

Finally, the web is being used for good - to expose shitty tippers. If you cheap out, perhaps you will be found in the nasty Shitty Tipper Database (STD). You don't want to be anywhere near the STD, do you? (Is that really the best I could do with that?).

Anyway, link. 

Next time anyone gives you shit for using The Shocker in a conversation about your TPS reports, bitch slap them with the (sorta) truth: It's in the ENCYCLOPEDIA.

Link

(Please, for the love of God, don't bother commenting that Wikipedia is not a real encyclopedia. Bite me.)

Ding fries are done! If you haven't seen this, after a few hundred viewings, you won't forget it. I promise.

Link

Yeah, I was gone for a while. What of it?

This is a fun game to play while you're thinking about how to finally off yourself. There's 73 bands represented in this image (click for a larger version, genius). For instance, what's the man with the big hammer doing to those pumpkins?

-- SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS - LEAVE YOUR FINDS AS WELL --